no. 100 - back to basics
as my time here in the land of the free comes to an end, i thought i might remind myself how this blog got it's name. a product of exam stress and venting useless rants after copious amounts of alcohol.
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend also hasn't started the paper yet, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You remember that you owe that old friend from high school who’s now in Australia a phone call. So you decide to call him now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen (and sing along) to your favorite Coldplay CD and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
10. Listen to it again!
11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.
12. Phone your friend on the third floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your professor, the course, the university, the world at large.
13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue.
15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Monty Python is truly worthwhile.
16. Catch the last forty five minutes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail on channel 52.
17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points.
18. Go through your entire blog and add a new entry.
19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
21. Read through your entire blog and check for any silly mistakes.
22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.
24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
26. Leap up, realize that you have just two hours to deadline and write the paper. After all, you work best under pressure.
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend also hasn't started the paper yet, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You remember that you owe that old friend from high school who’s now in Australia a phone call. So you decide to call him now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen (and sing along) to your favorite Coldplay CD and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
10. Listen to it again!
11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.
12. Phone your friend on the third floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your professor, the course, the university, the world at large.
13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue.
15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Monty Python is truly worthwhile.
16. Catch the last forty five minutes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail on channel 52.
17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points.
18. Go through your entire blog and add a new entry.
19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
21. Read through your entire blog and check for any silly mistakes.
22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.
24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
26. Leap up, realize that you have just two hours to deadline and write the paper. After all, you work best under pressure.
