freshly sharpened pencils...

today has been one of those days when one wonders why. yes, just why? i had a marathon of monday morning meetings which totally drained me - four hours!! my presentation left a lot to be desired and i had question after question on scenario after scenario. i also didn't mention two crucial filters in our system which made me look rather unprepared. i guess i thought it would go smoothly - like the easy college gwans i always aced - the real world operates differently. there's real money at stake not made up textbook figures!

my only saving grace is that two other sets of knuckles got rapped - and those two guys have been with the company for over 8 months.

i'm been trying to register for a complicance exam to take it later on this week in San Francisco but there's hurdles on that straight as well. argh! right now i'm tired, hungry, irritable, pissed off, agitated and i just want to go home. oh yes, by the way, it's raining today. and it will continue to do so for the rest of the week.

it's already friday. i'd complain about my very poor social scene but i wont. actually, one of the owners of fahrenheit ultra lounge, the joint that plays deep house, has invited me over for one or two. i may just saunter there early evening. i might run into some brunette and win her over with my charm.

who am i kidding?

i've had one of those weeks when one feels like punching the wall. but i wont, i have more sense that. i have plenty to be grateful for and so i will not complain. today is supposed to be payday. i should check if it's gone through into my bank account. that should give me a reason to celebrate. the last paycheck i had was six months ago. yes, there's a reason to crank up the volume. the little cd player/stereo which is hid in the kitchen will be brought out at 3.30pm to the main floor. we shall make ourselves look stupid. and my inspiration is from this bunch.

how am i supposed to develop a pitch? argh!! bladdy presentation getting on my bladdy nerves and my bladdy brain refuses to bladdy work. bladdy work gets up my nose. 'tis 4.17pm. most normal people are commuting to their makhayas but lo' and behold, moi here is still stretching his neck muscles in between the m'godi and the water cooler. i've decided to break protocol and stop being the goody goody act - use the work pc for work related issues only - as stated in the contract. i've officially reneged. it's called corporate backsliding - you try your best to conform to the rules but end up reaching some breaking point. it's a matter of time before some devil in IT figures out i've been out in blogosphere and rats on my sorry ass.

i need redemption.

high risk strategies, solvencies, credit rating, grade based, tax deferred, new provisions, riders, waivers, long term, short term...

it's all irelevant!!

www.overheardintheoffice.com
www.overheardinnewyork.com

i think i've lost it. my life takes place in a cubicle of a well lit air conditioned space. directly infront of me is a desk - plain, wooden. on it rests a pile of colour coded files next to the monitor. one of it is open. it lists boring acronyms and arrays of numbers with no meaning. i wish i had a window. then i'd look out at the street, count the cars that drive by or watch the birds fly away. argh, get with it. there's a paper cup of cold coffee four hours old. at the time of buying it, it seemed relevant to fit the persona of a busy broker rushing to the office. a phone rings. wish it was mine. give me something to entertain me. i think i'll go prod my chorb in front of the bathroom mirror. and then i'll pass by the kitchen and play with the micro. then i could kick the soda machine and hope a can pops out. drat. hmmmm. what can i do to look busy? i'll pick up the phone and pretend to call someone. no, i'll go to try send a fax to my cellphone. hmmm. let's see, what pdf manual can i send to the printer? and then i'll wait by the printer for the 235 pages. i wish it was dot matrix. hmmm.

outside this building i wonder if i'll ever be as relevant as i wish to be. there's so much i'd like to do but there are powers greater than i am that are set on controlling my progress. why this world works on bureaucracy and red tape bedazzles me. anyhoo, hope lingers at the end of the tunnel in the form of uncle sam smiling at me.

i have a calling card. i'll call my sweet likkle sis. she has suddenly found relevance if her life. attacking form sikisi with two languages in a cloister of nuns rings appropriate at this juncture of her life. long live the relevance of her saladry.

this week i've had to contend with over excited, overgrown kids because the temperatures dipped below freezing - for a couple of hours. Oh yes, we had ground frost in the valley. a spectacle in this neck of the woods. further up the hills on either end of the valley, the tips are capped with snow. the entire city has swopped their shorts and t-shirts for parkas and snow boots. okay, it is cold.... but it's not THAT cold. just a couple of jumpers and a pair of light gloves will do the job. for crying out loud, the white powder's on the hills, not down here.

funny chords strike when i realise that even i, who grew up in sweltering heat, knows what real cold is.

there's two sides to this house.

the happy side: i seem to score more and more points by the day with the house music. [props to the supplier] i think i have started a trend here in silicon valley. people are girating to the sounds of mzansi and it's killing me. i keep on having to translate lyrics [not an easy task - some phrases have no english equivalent] i just say forget the words and absorb the beat. ever noticed that white people dance to the words and not the beat!! honestly, play kanye west and watch. i'm tempted to take it a step further and convince some club or bat that i am a legit dj, only to screw up completely. they'll never know.

the sadder side: i was ordered to go home today and write myself a will. yes! one is never too young to boss people around from the grave. these insurrance people i work with are chastising me. at least i'll have peace of mind of what will happen to my whacky t-shirt collection and my 15 CDs (and that's not bank accounts). life does go on!

did i mention that i will be car shopping this week. being greasy has its payoffs. one, two, three offers for the kid from africa. people at work are just too too kind. the only part i'm dreading is the risk factor my actuary might just slap me with. i can't even cut a deal at work!!

this week, i have the pleasure of working with the boring, yet interesting sods. with my maths background i hope not to turn out like some characters i've met.

picture this:

who works out the efficiency of the strides one takes to the elevator?

how many people set a stop watch and wait exactly 6 minutes and some odd seconds before their coffee cools down?

and those bowties!! dress code, please!

everything in life is a risk, even going to the bathroom!

... my week in insurance is promising!

my landlord's son (N) and his girlfriend (K) from canada are in townfor the weekend and are camping in our backyard. he's a personablefellow and she's a bright sparky blonde. anyhoo, we all decide to goout on saturday to dave and busters. those who don't know dave andbusters - it's an amusement arcade for grown ups with no social life.literally. they do some pretty tasty food too. but the joint was waypacked on saturday. i had no idea so many people in the valley had NOlives.

anyhoo, two hour wait on a table for five (yes two hour!!), so we ventured into the huge games room for a bit of air hockey and carracing - DAYTONA (yeah baby!). it's such a coool thing that theypromote drinking and driving - we must have had 4 rounds on emptystomachs and so driving skills were, um, rather challenged. that wasbefore we answered our call for food, which we devoured shamelessly.

then back to the races (i had a couple of points to prove). by thattime, the joint was now pretty packed and so my troop had to wait abit while i went to fetch the coolies. why is it always me who's eagerfor the bar? anyhoo, on my way back, i notice K have some altercationwith a large black woman. K turns her back to her and the LBW hurls abox a chips at her. (me thinks: oh my goodness, let this night not endto early). fortunately (or unfortunately - depending on how you wouldhave liked the situation to pan out), K just walked away in disgustand the LGW took straight to the door.a huge part of me was really disappointed that i didn't get to see thejuicy bits for my blog. anyhoo, shortly after that, we were asked to leave.

damn, busted!

mood: happy - skiving work
listening to: diba diba
today: sun sun sun

i like comedy right. my entire existence seems to be a comedy (of errors!). i always seem to stumble into so many seriously wrong things which happen to add some spice to my life. i should have a camera following me. i would have a cool reality sitcom (or sitcon). ha ha.

i like sitcoms you know. stupid plots which reflect real life. one such kind i've enjoyed from way back (zim) is will and grace. flat chested grace, pill popping karen, annoyingly camp jack and wimpy will. they have some silly humour most of the time. i always thought of myself as having no probs with "guys on the other side" - as long as they kept their distance. but but but.... hang on. maybe i do have predijuce. home early today. daytime tv. repeat of last week's episode. i decide to watch. i haven't seen one since england. lo and behold was i in for a shocker.

without delving into too much detail will's love interest is taye diggs. i respect that guy like an older cousin. down to earth grounded and not full of himself like most black actors, excellent dress sense. in fact we share similar tastes. i wasn't expecting any drama. anyhoo cut the long story short, they snog. taye diggs. brother, where art thou? dude, i'm at loss. how ever much they are paying you, it must be pretty good. is it just me or was that one big sitcon? i should have known better.

i must be the only one at the office who hasn't watched brokeback. i really don't intend to for my own good. i wasn't expecting it to be broadcast on mainstream tv.

i really should get my own computer. somebody please donate. i'm suffering here. i have these clips which i'm dying to share. i'd upload the clips easy. making a transcript would not do what i heard any justice. so come on somebody, get your rich unkle to give.

these hobos. i like hobos. they may have funny smells but they have some humour in the form of life stories. if i ever make it big in life, i'll have a comedy club just for hobos. why? was on the train and these guys had me in stitches. they weren't too far off from me and i just listened in. when things got juicy i pulled out the cellphone and clicked the record button. each time i play it back it's ridiculously funny. an excerpt below [kinda].

hobo1: i won't be going back to my room tonight
hobo2: what, you have a room?
hobo1: well, kinda...
hobo2: so what's wrong with it now?
hobo1: my room mate has his lady friend in tonight and i'm keeping my distance.
hobo2: i'd tell him to just fuck off. i aint gonna sleep outside coz he wants to get it down, especially if i have a roof over my head.
hobo1: i'd wouldn't have a problem it's just that i dont on well with his woman.
hobo2: why's that?
hobo1: she used to be my wife.

"would you like to try a free stress test, sir?"

"no, do i look stressed to you!"

that was some woman in this mall trying to hustle a dianetics stress relief kit to me. i think she got the message loud and clear. i may look stressed (maybe coz i am) but i will not be an l. ron hubbard subscriber or will i be his apologiser.

stress is.....

...nearly missing your stop coz you fell asleep on the train- couldn't fall asleep last night.

...having a dog beg you for cornflakes when that's the last thing you want first thing in the morning.

...having another newbie at the job asking you questions the most ridiculous questions coz they cant think for themselves. and i've only been here a week.
"what do i do with this?"
"we file that under b.i.n."
"where?"
"in the bin!" [*&^%&* idiot - under my breath]

...the milf at work who is seriously hitting on you coz you speak differently.

...burning your mouth with hot tea coz you cant be arsed to wait for it to cool down.

...36 emails in the inbox that all need to be replied.

...walking into a mall knowing very well that you're dead broke.

...watching people blissfully flashing their credit cards and cash, shopping like crazy knowing very well that you're flat broke.

...realising that everything in the bay area is priced at a premium.

...public loos that have hot air hand-dryers as opposed to paper towels. how are we supposed to open the same door as those skanky people who don't wash their hands? sis man!

...is having some silly middle aged woman with too much makeup and a fake smile asking you if you'd like to try a free "stress test."

...cursing life for being fair to the rest of world except you!

when was the last time i called home? it seems such an age and my phone is playing up. actually, i'm hooked onto my zakkie's other phone and it's been cut off. whoopie ding! i really should just get my own. the only trouble is this country is messed up. they want you to sign some lengthy contract and then charge me fortunes when i renege!!

and then there's the moola issue. i hope i get paid this month. apparently with so much redtape in this state it can take up to six weeks to process my first paycheck. for goodness sake, this is america!!! not somalia. get a grip with life. my budget is getting pretty rocky. guess, less partying for me. i can forsee withdrawal symptoms - watching dvds on a saturday evenings can have weird effects to the brain.

on the train on tuesday, i got my quote of the week from a hobo (with dreadful BO). as long as i'm not lying under a cardboard with frost every morning, putting up with people spitting and swearing at you, or finding your wife stolen by your best friend the day after you get out of the slammers where you got your ass kicked, you've it got good. told him to write a book. and i'll stop bitching and get on with my work before they fired my black ass!