freshly sharpened pencils...

bristol the last time i checked. i still am. uyazi i really don't have anything to report to my dear blog and yet i find myself typing. i wonder if this happens to other bloggers - where they just adding an entry with no idea where it will lead.

busy listening to mandoza on ukhozi fm. the tv is silently showing ne-yo girate to his sexy love. it's sunday. i really should go out and enjoy some park, maybe blaise castle. ama photo picture from our outing aphumile but they were from a 35mm. so will have to use scanner at the msebenz' to scan my one. it was supposed to be a stupid pic of me hugging a sculpture of a dog but i ended up looking quite sauve it in. i like it. it deserves a frame. hmmm... ikea's nearby. maybe later.

speaking of the castle called blaise, uVusa told me of an ordeal he went through after taking his baby Nandi for a bit of father-daughter bonding play-at-the-park on thursday. i think he's taking the perpetrators to court too.

nyanya yacho: so he and a friend decide to kill some time by going to the castle with his baby daughter. all's well, the sun shines, the birds sing, the grass is green. V is been chasing his kid on the grass, he shows her a helicopter hovering above, they wave. he notices some police presence but doesn't take it too seriously. there's even coppers with dogs.

time comes to phindela emakhaya. happy day, baby smiling, daddy's happy. backpack on back. as they pass an ice-cream van and head towards the car park, six squad cars appear from nowhere, the cops with zinja start running towards father and daughter. someone starts shouting, "nick him, nick him, nick him!!"
then one officer pushes him carrying daughter into a squad car. v asks them what's going on, n, startled by all this commotion starts screaming her lungs out.
they start telling him that he is wanted for a serious crime - rape in scotland!! is response, "you must be joking." baby is crying her lungs. they go on to tell him of what he is suspected for and then he asks them if he can comfort his daughter, "fair enough, you may think i am a suspect but my priority right now is my kid."
some officer takes the kid outside and tries to comfort but hatshi, 'twana screams for a daddy. he pleads with them for the welfare of his child but they insist they will have to carry out enquiries. after about tem minutes this female officer apologises, "sorry mistaken identity, you can get out of the car."
"what?? get out of the car, just like that, after the way you've treated me and my daughter."
"these things happen. sorry for that. you can get out the car."
"you people aren't serious. after the way you treated my daughter you expect me just to walk away smiling."
indebele laseli bhonga, lingadlali!
cut the long short, he's taking them to civil court. went to the stitshi to give u-super a mouthful and apparently he was all begging this black man to for some forgiveness. vusa's not messing about. he called off sick at the msebenz' and went to his GP to request some counselling for the stress he received. he now cant sleep because of images of his daughter being traumatised.

ijaha layazi, angithi!!

anyhoo, that's the latest chakuti. more mbayi mbayi.

i remember civvies day from junior school. the one day of term - near the end of term - which we all looked forward to. one would save their brand new north star takkies just to show off come civvies day. we would all contribute 50 cents which i'm not quite sure where it went. well today at the msebenz' we had our own civvies day - they call it dress down day. weather's tshisaring, we're all hot and bothered and so our bosses have been kind to let us abandon the collar, tie and jacket theme for a more casual shorts and t-shirt look. i wish everyday could be like this. everything but the £1 we all had to contribute towards some charity.

futhi everyone here at the msebenz' is feeling generous. kanje payday was izolo. that's why. kulamakheke on middle tafula and i'm digging in - literally. us africans love our freebies.

speaking of africans, my job involves quite a bit of phone calls to a number of dealers. this one guy today asks me: are you dutch? what, do i sound dutch on the phone? no actually i'm from zimbabwe. he took three steps back. netherlands.... zimbabwe... netherlands.... zimbabwe... maybe it's that s'bhunu sikhiwa which comes out when i nose. yes, yes i'll admit it, i do nose most times but it really is not my fault. one gets used to speak in a particular way and they
really can't get rid of it. i for one do have a special accent and nice tone. okay i brag i brag. i think i should audition for voice overs you know. maybe big brother.

enough rants. today's friday. i might find myself in birmingham later this evening or early tomorrow morn. my cousin's teenage daughter - umtaka sisi ozwalwa ngumam' omdala - is in the country and she'll be in brum for some weeks. only fair for the malume to see his mzukulu.
ah, yes, there go my pounds!!!

and so i'm now a regular esabatheni. it comes with its extras. yesterday after church we had lunch at NaTevisa's (pronounced te-vi-sha) house. she's kinda like a big sister to me. i always used to find myself emaphathini with her younger brothers. all fifteen of us stuffed our faces with so much food, i almost lost the will to move. afterwards, the cheesecake... i love cheesecake.

as the sun was blasting phandle, we decided to kipha ourselves to blaise castle - a picturesque building on impresive public gardens. manu took plenty plus photos and videos which will soon appear somewhere online. then this bunch of twenty-something africans started playing kiddies games from ekhaya. plenty laughs.

us boys wanted to go out and watch superman returns but all girls were very ante. and so we hijacked the godfather dvd boxset and packed up in front of a telly. mina was way too tired, sitting of the floor, ngiwozela, my head xhega-ring like a mpukane. then suddenly as i'm passing out, "boooo...." - i had broken some wind. and abasangihlekanga nje! what a nice epilogue to a fine day!

it's been a while since i blabbered, 11 days away from blogosphere. i'm still breathing, alive, kicking... and all the rest of it. But my life has ground to another routine. mgivuka ngo 6, catch up on the news, ngigeze, ngilunge, ngidle, ngigad' ibhasi, ngisebenze, ngibuyele ng'khaya, ngidle, ngibukel' iTV and then sleep. how boring's that?

i live with the soppiest lovers too. my friend keeg and his liz are the lovey dovey kiss kiss pissing off type who cant get enough of each each. makes me want to slap them but why should i spread my sadness. i cant believe i actually agreed to share a house with them. there's plenty advantages: lower rent, decent peeps, nice house and proper food. i guess i'll have to live with the 'mtiwa wangu' 'mtiwa wangu'.

my baby sam broke! ama-seri! she was in my pocket next thing i take her out and her lcd's cracked. why do they make fong-kong's these days? i'm well pissed. i bought the three year collect and return thing but getting through to them is such a nightmare!!! my heart bleeds for my toy. big time!!

however, i've become acquianted with the tv remote. can hardly call it cheating. plenty to watch on tv. i discovered this silly one woman show by catherine tate. i should find a clip on youtube and embed it. that woman knows her stuff and all her little skits are so true about england. for anyone who has never been to england, you just have to watch her show to see what british people are actually like. my fave characters are the grumpy old Nan and the "Am I Bothered?" chick.

today's friday. i actually went to uni just to check it out. i'm sad. i'm sitting in my best spot in the maths centre and typing away. i really don't know what i'm looking for here. i must confess, i'm sad. really sad!!

ever considered one's circle of friends? well, i have two. and both circles revolve in complete opposite directions. i guess i need them both it keeps my equilibrium on point.

the first 360. well these are peeps from ekhaya who i just happened to gel with here in south west england. it's a nice mixture of amandebele, amazulu, amaswati lamashona. actually o-zviri labo zvaka out number us. i like this circle. it gives me a firm grounding and a reminder of why and what i'm doing what i'm doing in foreign lands. they only want to see me succeed and are willing to help me just as i would land a hand. when i came from from the states, i knew that i'd have my back covered while i searched for a place to stay. it encourages me to go to church and seek things spiritual. when two in our little clique decided to get married, everybody chipped in with their five cents, rather five pence! it sort reminds me of my parents and their friends. i've always wondered how my baba's best friend is married to my mama's best friend. we have our picnics in the park or the odd braai in the back garden. it's nice. it makes england feel like home. this past weekend we drove in our nice little convoy to an sda concert in stoke-on-trent. this week, i'm busy hunting for a house with two others from my little posse. at least i know i'll be sharing with people i know from home.

however, i always turn out to be 'out-there' one and i do stick out like a sore thumb. i'm the one who describes to everyone the euphoric feeling after smoking a sheesha and then goes on to share a video of my very drunk family after too much tequila. i'm the one they can't tie down and is always talking about the 'next stop' on the itinerary. i'm the one who threw that testosterone charged stag do (details too juicy for a blog) before that guy got married and almost caused a premature divorce then had osisi not talk to me for a week. i'm the thrill seeker as far as they are concerned.

the next 360. well these are peeps from england. they are mostly from suburban kent and surrey who were emancipated away from 'mom and dad' to the clutches of the wild and wicked varsity lifestyle. they like to think of themselves as the free spirits who should go to Africa and save it from tyranny. i guess i'm their excuse for having an African friend. they are the ones with no limits. one of them once told me that you only know your limit once you reach it. this circle forces me to go pub crawling on a tuesday night just so i can have wednesday and thursday off. and by the time friday comes, it's already the weekend and so why bother? it sees no harm in celebrating a person's age with equal shots of tequila. the fact that one of them had to have his stomach pumped in an ambulance on its way to casualty makes interesting conversation. hang on, let's not forget the boys who brought their pellet guns from home and then woke the neighbours trying to shoot imaginary birds in the sky. hapless lady next door called 999 when she heard gun shots and our house was surrounded by six squad cars. such stories get loads of laughs in the pub. this clique will be happy to coast along all semester and start burning the midnight oil on the eve of exams. but don't be fooled. somehow they all pass well enough to keep mummy and daddy happy to pump money into their bank accounts. the odd barbeque turns into a binge and footie in the park is a lot more fun after a case of white wine.

however, i always turn out to be the conservative one and i do stick out like a sore thumb. i'm the one who bothers to worry about assignment deadlines and getting projects finished well before time. i'm the one who always carries crib notes in my back pocket in case i find a minute to spare in between pints. i'm the one who actually has that 'gawd awful thing' called a job and every penny i spend is actually MINE! i'm the one who raises eyebrows and wants to go home because i have reached my limit. i'm the boring one as far as they are concerned.